Hello. My name is Sarah Claire insert Jewish Smith here (I’m just not going to reveal my actual last name, but if you’re smart you’ll figure it out). 

I have two cats named Elvis and Grace Kelly and my next cat will either be Cary Grant or Liz Taylor, in keeping with the tradition of naming my kitty cats after dead celebrities. I talk about them like a mom talks about her honors student. Here are some pictures because they’re just too cute not to show off. 

Elvis

And Grace Kelly

As you can see, that bitch loves boxes. 

I love, love, love Broadway. When I go away to college in a little over a year (holy shit), I plan on majoring in Musical Theatre, Drama, or Vocal Performance. I am a soprano who is working on her belting every day to little avail. My dream roles are Cosette in Les Miserables, Christine in Phantom of the Opera, Erma or Reno (see, there’s where the working on my belting comes in) in Anything Goes, Glinda and Wicked, and my dream role to beat all dream roles is Maria in West Side Story (which will never happen because I am a ginger and nothing on God’s green Earth could make me look even remotely Puerto Rican.)

Sierra Boggess is flawless and I love her. She’s just incredible and I cry when she sings. If I met her, I think I would literally melt. She’s played literally all of my dream roles. And she’s perfect. And I love her. 

I enjoy all things Klaine. All things. I love gays and rainbows and glitter and I want Kurt and Blaine to adopt me so they can be my daddies. We could sing Broadway songs every night and snuggle with our cats. I could be like Rachel, minus one black dad.

I hate Darren Criss. But I am also desperately in love with him.

Starkid. Five-ever.

I fucking love the Jonas Brothers and I shamelessly fangirl over Nick. He is beautiful. We would sing Les Mis together all the time. 

I also adore Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato, and I will not defend those choices because I don’t have to.

Alright, well no one cares, so I’ll just say one more thing:

Penis.

Okay, bye.